La aventura de Fraz

I´m just going to start off by saying that Eddy totally wins. Conceding that, here´s my story.

Ok, so, in order for this story to work you have to realize that I´m probabl functionally retarded. Over the summer, I´d exchanged emails with the housing lady for Spain, and I´d kind of been on autopilot, figuring that everything would work out in the end. She said I had a family, and I kind of figured that everything was OK. Thing was, the last email that I got from her was one saying that she´d email me the address and phone number of the family, so I could contact them. So I waited. During my last weekend of summer vacation, I started to get a little worried, so I emailed her asking for the address. Problem: it´s the weekend, and apparently they completely shut down for that. So I get on the plane without knowing what I´m going to do, figuring, worst case, I can check in at the Sede and sort everything out. I also don´t tell my parents this, because I´m too embarrased.

Guess what? The Sede is CLOSED on Sunday! I figured there´d be one person there, but nope, it´s closed. So I ask my Taxi driver to take me somewhere to spend the night, and he drops me off in front of this sketchy hostel, with my three MASSIVE suitcases, and I´m all alone. While I´m walking the twenty feet to the door, this guy starts accosting me. At first I´m like, "bah, homeless man, just ignore him," but then he starts screaming "DUDE, I´M FUCKED UP!! JUST GIVE ME TWO EURO MAN" and FOLLOWING me. I´m freaking out, obviously, but feel ok when I get to the door. The hostel is on the third floor, and this guy follows me up the stairs and grab my arm. Now, keep in mind that I´ve been in Madrid for half an hour, tops, and I´m freaking out already because I have no home, and this is kind of the last straw, so I start screaming at him to leave me alone, swinging around my suitcases with all of my tiny fury, and he runs away. I guess he was just hoping to intimidate me and didn´t have any weapons or anything, and I guess I would have felt cool about this were it not for the fact that I was having a nervous breakdown. Anyways, the hostel is full, so I can´t use it, and I hail a cab. I´m pretty much done with this shit, and decide that I can spend a little extra for piece of mind, and so I get a hotel downtown.

This would be a horrible experience in and of itself, were it not for the added insult that when I went to the Sede the next day, to sort everything out, the housing lady shows me the email where she gave me the address. I thought it was just her signature and had ignored it. I hate myself.

Anyways, happy ending: I finally get to my house, and it´s freaking huge, and right in the middle of Madrid. It´s really old too, so it´s got high ceilings and cool floors and all that. The lady I´m staying with is really nice, and has the most massive crucifix I´ve ever seen in a secular building over her bed. She got minorly awkward when she learned I was a protestant. Her daughter got a little awkward when she learned I was a Texan, but now she loves me because my mom loves Jesus Christ Superstar. I know.

Oh, one more thing: I´m going to die from eating. For lunch yesterday, the first course was this creamy vegetable soup, and I had to finish it before I could eat anything else. She just sat there and looked at me when I put my spoon down. I was seriously afraid I was going to vomit all over her table. I mean, I know my food stories aren´t going to match Eddy´s, because this stuff is pretty normal, but I´m used to little Fraz-sized portions.

Anyways, life is good. I think I´m going to survive.